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Old Feb 09, 2008, 05:25 PM // 17:25   #1
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Default Unexpected help for Dervish Gnome against Cynn

*A female ranger steps out from the bushes* just before Cynn is going to attack, and says "stop this madness,now Cynn , youre a spoiled brat who needs to be taught a lesson about behavior" * Shoots a disrupting arrow in Cynn's butt, so she is knocked over. *Sits on Cynn* "now Cynn , calm down, you know Mhenlo only loves you , not Dervish Gnome, he just gave her a Dwayna's kiss, which is a monk spell". *Cynn starts crying and sobbing, while the ranger are speking with her* *Dervish Gnome are watching with suprised eyes on the tall ranger who sits at Cynn*

Cynn leaves the field sobbing and crying, after getting a washout from the Ranger.
The Ranger winks to Dervish Gnome and leaves the field, searching on for her beloved husband Aidan the Ranger

Last edited by Tyris Mckinnon; Feb 09, 2008 at 05:28 PM // 17:28..
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Old Feb 09, 2008, 06:20 PM // 18:20   #2
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Whoever taught you how to write needs to be shot.

You pulled Cynn totally out of character.

I'm sorry, I'm too sickened to even give my critique on this...
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Old Feb 09, 2008, 07:14 PM // 19:14   #3
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wtf....................
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Old Feb 09, 2008, 07:37 PM // 19:37   #4
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:/

12chars....
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Old Feb 09, 2008, 08:50 PM // 20:50   #5
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EPIC storry imo,write on!
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Old Mar 04, 2008, 03:49 AM // 03:49   #6
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Very interesting(disturbing), never thought Cynn was the type to cry and that Mhenlo didn't calm her down. On the other hand, it's a little short and the grammar could use a little work.
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